It's been a way long time since I've posted. Seems like I'm too busy with too many things to actually sit down and reflect. It's easy to reflect on the big things but we often neglect the little and mundane things, something that I take for granted. For that, I thank God for the big and small things He has put in my life.
For this ministry that He has so graciously given me.
For the relationships that are forged.
For a family that is a million miles away. But is never far from me.

Updates on me.
School has been quite good to me this sem. No longer struggling with so many production projects. I have wayy better groupmates compared to the previous semesters. That makes the difference I guess. 

Ministry has been quite fulfiling. If anyone has been following my posts, you could see that I was quite discouraged a few months back. Not that I don't face the same problems now, but maybe it's the attitude that i'm taking. I see direction and I'm really looking forward to great and wonderful things hapening.

I got my driving license people. And i'm looking for a car. So a good one better come along soon.

But I do feel like I've drifted away from my friends back home. Ok, not that serious but I haven't been talking to them as regulaly as I should be. It seems like I'm so caught up with the things here in Perth that everything back home doesn't seem as important. That's not true. I'm really really sorry if I haven't been talking as often. Being busy doesn't seem like a very valid excuse too. But I really miss and love all of you. Like seriously. You guys are as important if not, more important. I just wanted to let you know.

I said I was an introvert
Everyone laughed
 

Every morning, I wake up with a deep uneasy feeling in my gut. It doesn't seem to go away no matter how much I fight it. Thoughts about the future flood my mind. Mine partially but mostly It. The responsibilities are so heavy, so heavy that I feel myself sinking down if I don't keep myself afloat in Him. It's slowly pushing me to a corner. If only I can run away, run back home. Home, I never felt that I need you more than I do now. I choose to escape knowing full well that I have to turn back and pick up the pieces I leave behind. The time to make the decision will come eventually, maybe even sooner than I expect.

I don't like this feeling. It hurts. Maybe it's a mixture of my emotions and a few others. But, maybe I'm just not that spiritually mature to handle this. Sometimes I want to to escape. Just be physically away if I can't emotionally. I know it's not the right thing to be feeling but i yearn to go back. Back to the person that I was a year ago. But I can't. Not after what I've experienced. Not after the lessons that He has taught me. Walking the christian life isn't simple at all. It's disheartening to see the things you've done come to nought. It's not so much anger at the people but anger at myself for not being able to do things right. That I haven't been right with God to start with. I suck and God definitely knows it.
How much more can I go on? How much more can I handle? I don't know. I was expected to understand all that in the past year. All I know is that I have to starting getting right with Him. I don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone. Being a christian is not about me, me and just me. But I can't give back if I'm dried up. There's nothing to give anymore...

This little corner of mine is getting really stale.
I'm getting quite numb to the routine here. It's time that I get out of this place for a while and head back home. Just the right timing:) I really can't wait to go home. 11th dec! soon, soon.
Work has gone down quite a bit for me. To like once a week so I'm pretty relaxed right now.
Driving test next week. Not good, not good at all. Ah, I need to pass it man. Quite funny that I'm more bothered over this exam than the actual school exam that I'm taking. Probably just the level of confidence. But I reeaally need to do well in both.


Sometimes, I wanna write everything down. But I stop myself from time to time. Maybe it's pure laziness. Or maybe just the security that these thoughts are kept in my head. Some emotions cannot be explained in words. They need to be felt.

Updates on Jan again. I've been doing pretty good. Just handed in my 2nd batch of major assignments last week. Another batch coming right up in Week 14. Oh man, that week is gonna butcher me right, left, center. What to do? This is the life of a uni student. PR exam on the 27th of nov which is eons away. I really don't understand why they have to make the exams so freaking late. Sigh...

But! I'm leaving for adelaide on the 27th for ocf convention. whoo hoo! Time for a well deserved break. Coming back on the 8th of dec and if all goes well, I can finally see all you lovelies on the 11th. I'm so hyped up to go home man. Home never fails to make me happy:)

Working at Wendy's is quite fun. Making milkshakes, hotdogs, and scooping blobs of ice cream. The pay is an extra incentive too, haha. But i think i should reduce the number of shifts i take tho. 3-4 days is a bit too much. Starting to get a bit tiring.

Driving manual is very fun. A bit of a stress release for me too. BUT, reversing and parking is such a pain. If only i can just get the car to move properly. Sigh, it doesn't like me. I'm hoping to get the license soon. Like very soon. Next month ideally.
Seems like my stale, boring uni life is starting to be jam packed with all these other stuff.
Good news? Bad news? Dunno.

Wow. I actually managed to do 4 out of the 5 things.
1. Buy a stupid printer. I NEED IT.
2. Start on my news story which is due friday.
3. Which means, pop over to curtin to do interviews.
4. Enquire about working. The one at IGA sounds pretty good. And it's near:p
5. And the most impt, GO TAKE THE FREAKING THEORY TEST FOR DRIVING. I've been putting it off for so long. It's unbelievable.
Not bad I must say.

I find it quite amusing how ppl are unable to pronounce my name. It's either they butcher it till I can't recognise it. Or it's been through many stages of metamorphosis. Some examples:

1. Jar-neh-ser
2. Jer-nee-ser
3.Ja-nee-sah
4. Jeh-neh-ser
5. Jeh-neh-sia
6. Jer-ne-shir
7. Yer-neh-ser (the j and the y sounds, like juan)
8. Jane-sa. (hate this one, like srsly?)

For the record, it's pronounced as jer-neh-ser. Maybe it's easier if I tell ppl it's vanessa but drop the v and add the j.
This was quite random, oh well.

Ok. Time for updates again. I've been pretty darn busy the whole of last week and the week before. Study break is just a dumb excuse for more work to be piled onto you. Like seriously?! A test during the break? test-break. That's an oxymoron. But I must say, that was the most fun and cool test I've taken in my whole life as a student. It was a desktest for my radio unit. I just had to do an intro, play songs, do the interview and pretty much done. Quite strange to hear myself actually. Never thought I'll sound like that. BUT, I played the wrong song! Silly mistake i must say. But don't think they'll notice, i hope. That, was just a small part of my "exciting" week. Have a 2000 & 1200 word essay due tomorrow so I spent the whole of last week trying to rush it out. Still trying to rush it out. Last week, this is how the average day looked like.
( the average day of jan )
Then the whole cycle starts again. Usually that's what happens. Except for days I have meetings and stuff that I have to attend to. Oh well... I never knew why people wished for more than 24 hours a day. Now I do. Plus, I still have a wholeload of stuff that's gotta be done.
1. Buy a stupid printer. I NEED IT.
2. Start on my news story which is due friday.
3. Which means, pop over to curtin to do interviews.
4. Enquire about working. The one at IGA sounds pretty good. And it's near:p
5. And the most impt, GO TAKE THE FREAKING THEORY TEST FOR DRIVING. I've been putting it off for so long. It's unbelievable.
Lastly, stuff at ocf probably. Has been taking up quite a bit of time. Not that it's heavy stuff but it's all the nitty gritty stuff that gets to me sometimes. And it's really quite overwhelming when people have a certain expectation of you. But then, my security is not found in man but Him. And now that I've committed to this, I have the duty to stick to it. Gets a bit trying sometimes but i'll be fine. Feel like I need a break soon. Never fail to say this but i miss the people back home:)